Thursday, 7 June 2012

Guest Post: ReeRee Rockette Body acceptance....is it ever achievable?

With a number of recent blog posts on her blog that really made me think ReeRee Rockette, owner of www.rockalily.com seemed the perfect person to speak about body confidence and body acceptance on my blog (and to me), so when she offered on twitter to write guest posts I jumped at the chance.

I am in a constant battle with myself over my body, as someone who has always been fat (technically correct - apologies Ree, but we have different views on the word) I sway on a daily basis between being happy with how to look to feeling frumpy, and then when i diet (purely due to feeling unhealthy) I'm caught up in a guilt cycle, because I'm worried my peers (that include gorgeous girls larger than myself) see fat as ugly which is not the case

Anywho, that's enough preamble for now as Ree's post speaks for itself but i thought i would set the scene and I'm already half composing a response post for the future if  anyone is interested

Body acceptance....is it ever achievable?
ReeRee Rockette





Over the years, despite having never been larger than a large 14, I have had a myriad of varying thoughts about my size. As a younger woman, I pretty much hated my body. All I could see were my fat thighs and my fat belly. It was as if I truly thought my body was wrong, it wasn't what it was meant to be.

My mother has never dieted or shared any body hatred with me, so I can only lay the blame for these illogical and negative thoughts at the door of mainstream media. At what point was my growing size 14 body deemed disgusting and incorrect? How did I learn that bellies should be flat, even when bent over? Why did I think my thighs shouldn't meet in the middle and shouldn't change shape when sat on a chair? No one ever called me fat, I wasn't teased for my body shape, all of this hatred came from within me.

My body did what it needed to do. It travelled the world, boys fancied it, and it allowed me to dance until six in the morning. Yet I hated it.

Now that I am heading to my 30s, my view of my body and its shape has shifted. I am a little smaller than my biggest, as I am now a size 12, but that's not much of a change really! The difference has been in my thinking, and the language I allow myself to use about myself.I would never call myself fat now. Even when I try on a dress and it doesn't fit that week (which happened on a recent trip to Las Vegas!) I don't label myself fat. I wouldn't call a loved one fat, so why would I use it on myself?

 I have accepted that my body is soft, and it has curves and bumps, and they can be awesome. And if they're not awesome, that's ok too. My body is ok.My thighs are allowed to squish when I sit down, and my belly is allowed to have a roll when I lean forward. That is ok, and pretty darn normal. I don't judge people on their body shape alone, so why judge myself? I am more than my waist size, and I don't want to waste my life worrying over a few pounds here and there. I really am too clever and too interesting for that ;-)

This would be a different story if I was morbidly obese, or if my body shape limited my life choices. As I am, my body shape is just fine, and I have bigger things to worry about. Don't get me wrong, I remain conscious enough to not gain weight, extra pounds can make life tougher, but if I want cake, I have cake. Life really is too short.






I sometimes imagine myself, as an old wise lady on her death bed, and I would hate her to wish that she had lived more, and dieted less. Life really is more interesting that how fat we look in our jeans.


If you have been left wanting to read more from Ree, these are my favourite (ish) recent posts on her blog.


'You're looking thin'...




6 comments :

  1. I'm a size 16 and 5ft8ins and have been since I was 12 years old. At that age I was full of self hatred - I was so much larger than my peers and hated that I'd been given essentially an adult body at such a young age - I just had these huge boobs and hips that I had no idea how to deal with. As I've gotten older (I'm now 22) I've got used to what I look like, I've learnt how to dress and how to carry myself and make the most of what I've been given but I'll tell you what it took a lot of hard work, I've had a lot of issues to work through with myself but now I'm there and I'm so glad that I'm able to love myself and the way I look.
    I now work as a professional bra fitter and it distresses me when I see all the perfectly normal, lovely women complaining about non existent 'squadge', apologising for their 'flabby' tummys and lop sided boobs (perfectly normal btw!).
    I have read all of ReeRee's posts as I am an avid follower of her blog and I just hope that they and other posts like them reach a wider audience because it's getting to the point where I dread bringing daughters into this world in it's current state.

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  2. Aww, thank you for reading my blog. It also took me a long time to work on my own attitudes, but it was definitely worth the work!

    I am so concerned about our teens in our tumblr/fb world now....

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  3. Your post about thighs definitely affected me the most - mine have always been my biggest issue so it was great have it spoken about rationally and also to see so many normal pairs in the photos you posted.
    I see so many young girls on a day to day basis who come into my place of work to specifically buy the ultra boost bras (literally 2ins thick padding)and it saddens me. Last week a colleague had a 14 yr old girl ask her for tips on how to make her boobs bigger. It upsets me that girls feel they have to compare with unachievable photoshopped images of female beauty.

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  4. Great post and absolutely spot on. Why waste your life worrying what you look like? We're all going to feel self conscious about our figures at some point, whatever size we are - nothing can change that. But the media is definitely to blame about how we feel/perceive ourselves. We should just be happy - and while age is just a number, a dress size is just a dress size, after all x

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  5. I have a 4 year old daughter and i am so worried that she will feel the same about her body as i did as as teenager

    I am going out of my way to make her feel confident in her own skin, and some of that is rubbing off on me and i have definitely noticed that im more confident/comfortable since having her. Like Ree said in the post' her body done what it needed too' - mine grew (and gave birth too) the most intelligent, beautiful, confident young girl i have ever met and im now starting to see the tummy and stretch marks as my victory scars, rather than something i want to get rid of.

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  6. Fab point - the media accepts that age is just a number, now championing the older woman. I don't see why it's not doing the same for people of all sizes.

    The governments use of the BMI certainly doesn't help the media link between being large and unhealthy - maybe when people realised this is not the case the negative connotations may start to subside and we can be seen as a person not a dress size

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